You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
