I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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