"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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