I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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