i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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