I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
