OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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