You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
