Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
