My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize