I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He has the fingertips of a God
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