im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
