How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize