Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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