I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
