I don't remember. Are we still dating?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
