how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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