No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
