I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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