just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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