How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
