i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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