Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
