FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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