Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
wanna go halves on a baby?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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