I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
