billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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