Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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