First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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