I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
