If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
