i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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