If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
