Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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