everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
