Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
