I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
