dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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