i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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