I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
