How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
