Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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