I hate your face
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
