Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just pynch a tree in the face
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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