somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
