Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
