i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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