She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
