Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
