$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
