so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
