talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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