Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
