Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
