I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
