low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize