All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
