Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
