can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
