yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
now i know why i became what i already was.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
