is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Randomize
