i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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