I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
