im having a threesome with these popsicles
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
