Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
