I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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