If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
