he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
