I hate your face
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
