I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
