I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I forget how to act sober
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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