okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
