I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
