Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize