can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
