She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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